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Sharing Our Sorrow:

Some Exit through a Door of Fire

Aliah MaJon

My son killed himself . . . at age 24 . . . in the middle of a summer afternoon. He was a brand new father, happily mated spouse, and a tremendously loved only child. He was good looking, healthy, and bright. He was sensitive, generous, and caring. He was also a Black man, unemployed, full of despair and on the verge of deciding to do what thousands of other Black men do in his situation in a country which has a tradition of racism, hatred, greed and disenfranchisement. The only option left in his community, in the city where he was born, in the place where he wanted to be happy and live and thrive was the involvement in; development of; and finally the dead-end result that's inevitable with the trafficking of drugs. He wanted himself and his family to survive. He wanted them all to have a good existence. He wanted, like responsible men do, to provide for those he loved. He could not unless he succumbed to all the things that were the opposite of what he stood for. . . . . . . . . He chose not to. So he did not survive. He no longer lives. And those that he loved still do not have a good existence AND if what our country is built upon does not soon change, it's possible they never will. I am proud of my son. . .I am proud that he refused to compromise his goodness and enter into a world where his survival sacrificed lives other than his own. . . I am proud that he was unable to do what so many other Black men are expected to do, set up to do, and then with false righteousness are destroyed because they do. . . . I wonder if my story is clear? I'm curious as to whether you get it? HUMAN BEINGS ARE DYING, KILLING OTHERS, AND MANIPULATED INTO LIVING LIVES THAT ARE TORMENTED AND AGAINST HUMANITY. This is all happening right under our noses, next door, down the street and maybe even to people like us and our own precious families. It happened to me. It happens to my people all the time. It's going to continue to happen until we understand and then unravel what's going on. It's going to continue to happen until the epidemic shakes us and the number of those dead awakes us from the sleep of fools. It's going to continue to happen until you help me, and I help you, and we all help each other. . . . . . . . . My son needed your help and I still do.

Beloved Powers of All That it Means to Love I offer prayers to you; I pray that our children and us be saved.

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